Vising on Mataram Field
One day, I followed Unikal's event in the night from Student Orientation Program. It was so long day because I stayed in Unikal from afternoon untill Night. When the clock is 6 P.M. My friend and I decided to looking for dinner food. Mataram field near place from Unikal, so we came to this place to take a dinner.
Mataram field located in Kurinci street no.28, Podosugih. First, we just walked around of the field. I looked there was a lot of people in this place, in the middle field a lot of boys played football. In some of chairs there was couple spent this night together. And then a lot of complete family also spent this night in this place.
Afterthis, my friend and I came to one of food street in Mataram Field to been a dinner. Fried rice been our dinner. We took table in a good view from this place. I ate my food with looked around mataram field.
In behind me, there was a lot boys played football. I laughed with my friend when we talked about all of things. With a good air in the night and a romantic candle in our table. There was awesome in mataram field at night.
It was my first time came to Mataram field, my first impression that Mataram field just odinary place in Pekalongan. Nevertheless, after I came this place. Mataram is one of good place and popular place in Pekalongan. There are a lot of people spent the day in this place.
Review text by Sinta Khoiriyah (0919013641) :
ReplyDelete1. Structure
The first paragraph of recount text is about orientation. Contais of general information about the event (visit mataram). I think the arrangement of the first and second paragraphs that you wrote was switched. 1st paragraph is include events and 2nd paragraph is orientation. And last paragraph contains about the conclussion, what do you feel (happy, satisfied or sad) and you didn't mention it.
Additional :
ReplyDelete2. Mechanic
In second paragraph there was a space error. In words *in some of chairs....together* (too large spaces in the word was).
In thrid paragraph, afterthis should be written after this (with a space).
good job, I can enjoy when read your story :)
ReplyDeleteGood story, Sinta
ReplyDeleteVery good sistaa
ReplyDeleteI want to dinner with you again sis❤️ but your story is good
ReplyDelete